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Monday, October 18, 2010

They say that love doesn’t cost, but then again, why do so many people pay for it?


They say that love doesn’t cost, but then again, why do so many people pay for it?” 

Last night I was about to fell asleep when suddenly the phone rings.

It’s a long distance call from my friend.

He was crying while saying “I don’t want to live anymore, she’s gone, what will I do?”

I tried to calm him first asking him what happened then he said her fiancĂ©e left him for another man. 

“What could be the reason, why did she leave me?” he asked. 

“Only you can answer that question”, I said. 

Then I recall that I have once involved in the same situation, the difference is I am not the one who’s asking this questions. I’m the one who left for another.



It was Saturday morning when I decided to end my relationship with this man. 

I don’t know how to say it or what to do to make it easier for him to accept everything but as the song goes by “there’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart” that’s why I just tell him the truth.

I don’t love him anymore, I don’t know but I just fell out of love. 

Maybe because he’s always there for me… sounds funny isn’t it? Well he’s always been there for me, wherever I go, he’s there, in every occasion, he’s there, in my work, in school, anywhere, as if I don’t have my freedom. I don’t have my own time, time for myself to choose where I want to go or to be with my friends. 

Just like that…I felt that I need to have a space for myself…I got irritated whenever he call asking me if I already eat or where will I go. That’s why one day I decided not to answer his calls. I did not tell him my plans for the day.
 
I went to the mall alone, bought something for my self, I even watch movie alone, eat my favorite foods and I feel so very free.

When I got home, he’s there waiting for me. 

My mom told me he’s been waiting for almost four hours. 

He then asked me where I’ve been, why did I left without even telling him, who’s with me, those stupid questions.

I just said, I go out all by my self and I don’t have to tell him everything. 

What’s wrong with me, he asked. 

Nothing I said. I just want to be alone. Could you give some time to be with my self? Give me some space!
            

After that night, I talked to my friend whom I recently met just before I got bored with my man. 

He’s more matured and manly than him and we talked every night after I finished working. He always makes me laugh and I really like his sense of humor.

We just talked using a two way radio and then one night he went to my place to finally meet him. 

We became good friends I guess after we met.

Before this, I told my boy that I met a friend and we always talked. 

He’s a jealous type of a man but I made him understand that he’s just a friend of mine.In spite of asking him to give me some space, he still did the same thing.

He still visited me in my work, he still call me, went to my place as if nothing happens. 




And because he did not give me time to think, I finally decided to end our relationship. 

Well I don’t love him anymore; I mean how can I love a man who doesn’t want to give my own freedom? 

What will you do if you’re in my shoes? I left him and I accidentally fell in love with the man who’s now the father of my two daughters.

The last news I’ve heard from him is he went abroad and worked there.And so I told my friend who’s on the phone to just let go and give his self a little time to think. 

Letting go of someone you love is really hard but holding on to someone who doesn’t even feel the same is much harder.

It doesn’t mean that you are weak when you give up, it only shows that you are strong enough to let go to start a new beginning.

Because I’m too sleepy that night, I even did not notice that my friend who called is the man 
I once left before

Ex Corde.......!!!!

For Love

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge -Thomas Carlyle

Tuesday, September 15, 2009